


Dark Angel

by hopingforaword



Series: Poetry Fics [3]
Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Drawing, M/M, Second person POV, blink and you'll miss moritz, mostly sad? kind of happy tho, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9807908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopingforaword/pseuds/hopingforaword
Summary: it's youin a way you never saw yourselfyou look likeyou're in love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> so I wrote a thing for y'all but then i edited it and turned it in for creative writing and submitted it to a contest and won an Honorable Mention for it in the NYC Scholastic Art and Writing competition and now it's here for you

you met Him 

the angelic boy 

with the dark hair 

and the magical fingers 

one night,

in a beautiful vineyard 

flowering and bright,

one of your favorite places.

your own sister was not allowed to accompany you.

something beautiful for someone beautiful

you thought.

you didn't say this out loud.

 

He had noticed you had stopped going to church,

asked about it.

You said you had

stopped going to church,

stopped believing in god.

you still believed in Him.

you didn’t say this out loud.

 

you sat apart,

dropping dripping seductive sentences

whenever they fit in. 

He didn't seem to notice. 

you inched closer to Him. 

He didn't seem to notice. 

you kept going,

dropping your sentences

and inching your inches,

until you were almost on top of Him.

_Oh!_

even His exclamation as you leaned in 

was perfect. 

 

He met you again and again in the vineyard

He sketched you and the trees and the flowers

and you, smiling, in the flowers.

you pushed Him back with your lips,

His head cushioned by the soft flowers,

as you undressed Him

and loved Him the way He deserved. 

slow and gentle. 

 

you knew, even then, 

that it wouldn't last. 

He would realize.

He knew as well as you,

that angels can't spend time in hell.

you didn't want Him to be broken, 

to suffer,

to be left out in the cold,

so you distanced yourself. 

stopped talking to Him at school

stopped laughing at His silly jokes

stopped walking Him home

stopped stopped stopped

stopped letting yourself be happy

 

_What's wrong with you?_

He never shouts and He’s shouting.

you haven’t been together in a week

_Did I do something?_

yes. He tricked you. 

 _No_ , you lie. 

_Then what's wrong?_

_Nothing's wrong_

_Something's wrong! Just tell me what it is!_

_Leave me alone!_

_Not until you tell me—_

_I don't want to spend time with you_

the room falls dead

the air gets cold

your body is ready to run and throw up and scream

all at once

He says nothing

does nothing and then

_I love you_

you barely hold in a chuckle

you’ve said that before.

it meant nothing.

_What am I to you?_

He asks so innocently and the words come tumbling out 

before you’re ready

_A good fuck._

the light leaves his eyes.

He pulls something out of his bag.

a drawing. 

He drops it.

He leaves.

He doesn’t turn back.

you admire that

you are fully aware

that you would've turned back. 

 

 

you shove the drawing in your bag

tears threaten your cheeks, 

but the ice in your veins stops them

it's for His own good, you tell yourself.

 

you don't really believe it. 

 

you walk home alone.

 

it's two weeks until the drawing reappears

two weeks of Him laughing

and talking

and flirting with the other boys

and throwing you looks that scorch your soul

you try not to mind

you saved Him from you.

 

you find that you mind a lot.

 

the drawing falls out of your bag

you look at it.

the tears fall

 

it's you

laid out in a field of roses

naked, hair messy,

but eyes glinting.

it's you 

in a way you never saw yourself

you look like 

 

you're in love.

 

you cry yourself to sleep that night.

(you cry yourself to sleep most nights.)

 

you work up the courage to go to the vineyard

the other boys have said He still goes there,

the boy with the dark hair

and the magical fingers

and the broken heart,

and you wonder if He's half waiting for you

 

you stop dead.

He's there with someone else

He brought someone to your place

the place you showed Him

the place you’re meant to share

you stand behind a tree.

they're just talking 

very close together.

too close.

and He's inching closer to the other boy

(He learned that from you)

and He's about to kiss him 

when a branch snaps under your foot

both boys whip around and His eyes narrow

_Get lost_

 

you almost do.

instead you step out, say

_Thank you for the drawing_

the third boy looks confused

he checks his watch, 

mutters something you never cared about,

and leaves. 

He is still seething

_Why_

it's not a question.

you shrug anyway,

lighting a cigarette

_I suck_

you take a drag

_I said I loved you_

you blow smoke

_I know_

He grimaces at the smoke and at you

_And you didn't say it back_

and then it all comes pouring out

the scars you made,

the toxic coping,

the empty bottles and empty boys

you filled your nights with

before Him. 

you didn't want Him to be broken

 _Like you?_ He whispers. 

you nod

it's true enough.

you're not right for Him

(all this time, He's been inching forward)

you never were

you never wi—

 

your silence as His lips touched yours

was perfect. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope that made you feel some feels  
> hit me up at [hopingforaword.tumblr.com]() i try to respond as quickly as possible  
> If you liked this fic, check out the other poems in my [Poetry Fics](http://archiveofourown.org/series/558955) series. They're not all the same fandom, but a lot of my poetry is similar. If you like poems, check 'em out.


End file.
